I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
