Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
