I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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