Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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