Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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