I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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