Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
