don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
