Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
