there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
