SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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