Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
