Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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