dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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