the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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