Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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