I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
