nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
