READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
