dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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