i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
