So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i barfeds in our rink
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
