your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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