i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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