Having a random hookup so left but love u
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
