i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
