he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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