anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
