I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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