worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
