It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
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Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
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A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.