Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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