whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He felt like a one man threesome
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
