i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
