I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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