You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
