bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
