Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She told me I should be a condom model.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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