I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
