Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
