I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
