Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
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at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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