More tranny stories later!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
