if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
