i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
