If that was your dad, he is hot
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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