did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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