ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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