I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
