Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
