so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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