Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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