I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
be right there i have to get my cape
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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