Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
