He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
