I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
