she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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