Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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