do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
