wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
