I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
