Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
