i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
