win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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