no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
