You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
