u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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