It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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